


it's like you know me for the first time

by ne0nbible



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:55:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26622517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ne0nbible/pseuds/ne0nbible
Summary: Lexi tells Rue about her childhood, always being in Cassie’s shadow, and always feeling like people took her for granted. Rue tells Lexi about her anxiety, her failed relationship with Jules, and her stints in rehab.Sometimes she can’t tell if Lexi is flirting with her or not. But. She’s probably not.(It's a college AU that nobody asked for).
Relationships: Rue Bennett/Lexi Howard
Comments: 13
Kudos: 135





	it's like you know me for the first time

As Rue Bennett starts her third year of college, she has to admit, she’s finally gotten used to being the sober person in the corner at parties. It’s actually pretty amusing getting to watch everyone else act up most of the time. Kat and Maddy are always fun to go out with anyways, no matter what they end up doing.

She knows that other addicts would probably avoid setting foot at a party for a variety of reasons, but she wants to spend time with her friends without missing out on the “college experience.” After all, she’s been sober for almost four years and honestly, the parties themselves aren’t exactly what would cause her to use in the first place.

***

It’s the first Friday night after classes have started, which means there’s a huge house party.

The second Rue and her friends walk in, Kat and Maddy head directly towards the living room, where people have started to dance. Rue is used to this, so she weaves through the crowd in search of her favorite corner, clutching a half empty water bottle. Maddy is friends with the guys who live here, so Rue knows the floor plan well by now. She even has a favorite corner to observe from. It has just enough space that other people don’t bump into her when walking by and she can have her back to the wall.

That is, until she looks up and see’s that someone else is already standing there.

_What the hell?_

She fights her initial urge to walk up to this girl and tell her to move, instead studying her for a moment. She thinks she actually recognizes her as the quiet girl from a few of her classes over the years.

_The girl she always thought was pretty cute._

The girl has on a slightly oversized jean jacket and is playing with the solo cup in her hands. She seems to be by herself, watching everyone else like Rue usually does. Rue continues to watch as the girl quickly looks around, then dumps out some of her beer into the plant next to her.

Rue smiles, knowing she can have some fun with this. She heads over to her corner.

“Hey,” Rue greets.

The girl looks around for a second before realizing there is literally no one else Rue could be talking to, “Uh, hi?”

“That plant is fake, you know.”

“What?”

Rue isn’t sure if the girl is confused or if she can’t hear her over the music, so she speaks a little louder this time, “The plant’s fake. So, your puddle of beer will still be there in the morning.”

The girl’s eyes look like they are going to pop out of her head. Rue continues.

“I’d recommend just going to the bathroom and dumping it there, or you could pretend to go outside for a smoke break and dump it off the porch.”

The girl continues to look at her like she is insane. Her eyes flicker down to Rue’s water bottle before she finally responds, “The person drinking straight whiskey from a water bottle is telling me how to pretend to drink?”

It would be a good point, except…

“Try it,” Rue says with a smirk, extending the water bottle out to the other girl, “Trust me.”

The girl seems to be contemplating trusting someone she just met moments ago, but eventually she takes the bottle from Rue and tries a sip. Her eyes narrow, “Is that…”

“Lemon-lime Gatorade and food coloring? Sure is,” Rue replies while taking the bottle back.

“But why?”

“If people think you’re drinking straight liquor out of a water bottle, they tend to leave you alone. Even more so than when you have a perpetually half full cup of beer.”

The other girl glances down at her cup and chuckles, “Seems like a lot of effort. What about apple juice or something? Or just say that water is Vodka.”

“Huh. That’s not a bad idea,” Rue considers, “Although, I kind of like the theatrics of my concoction.”

“Well, lemon-lime is the best flavor.”

“Right?” the taller girl holds her hand out, “I’m Rue.”

“Lexi.”

The two quickly shake hands. Rue wonders if a handshake was was too formal for meeting at a college rager, but oh well.

“So, Lexi, why are you the sober one in the corner tonight? You’re stealing my vibe.”

“I’m not really a drinker. Why spend an entire night doing things you regret only to feel like shit for the next two days. I like my weekends too much to be hungover in bed,” the other girl smirks, “What about you?”

“Let’s just say I had some.. substance issues in high school. I’m good now, I just don’t touch anything.”

Lexi looks surprised, “Wow. I mean, that’s amazing. I wouldn’t think you’d even want to be around this.”

Rue shrugs, “Honestly, sometimes I just miss the energy of a good party. Plus, my friends like always having a potential DD. I try to keep an eye on them too.”

The shorter girl nods, “Same with me. Except my sister will give me shit if I stay in all the time. Well, give me more shit, I should say.”

“Is she here?”

Lexi looks up, scanning the crowd. The music is loud and the living-room-turned-dance-floor is packed. Cassie, however, is easy to identify as always.

“The girl in the blue top.”

Rue looks over and spots her immediately. The girl clearly dressed up for the event and is wildly making out with some guy to the beat of the music.

“You have the same genes as that person?”

“Yep,” Lexi says with an amused look, but her smile falters after a moment.

Rue catches it and makes a mental note that whatever dynamic exists with this girl and her sister is a topic that should be approached with caution. She also feels obligated to try to clarify her comment.

“Well, I’m glad you were the sister standing in my usual spot tonight.”

Lexi looks back up at Rue with a look that Rue can’t quite read. Which is strange, because usually she can read everyone. She wonders if that was a weird thing to say, after all, this girl could have a boyfriend or something. Was it too forward?

_Stop overanalyzing everything._

It looks like the shorter girl is going to say something when her very drunk sister is suddenly right next to them.

“LEX!”

“Cass,” Lexi lets out with much less enthusiasm.

“Hey, I’m going to go home with Jared, okay?” the older girl points behind her to the guy she was dancing with, “He’s hot right?”

“Totally,” Lexi deadpans. Rue tries to hold back her laughter.

“Okay, don’t wait up. Love you,” the blonde says as she gives her sister a hug before disappearing back into the sea of people.

“Typical Cassie,” Lexi sighs, “I guess that’s my sign to call it a night.”

“I can walk with you,” Rue says almost too eagerly, “If you want.”

“Oh, you don’t have to…”

“I mean I’m gonna head out too, so…”

“Okay. Thanks,” Lexi smiles.

***

Rue’s favorite part of college might be breakfast at the dining halls. Like really, the cereal bar is an amazing invention. Endless amounts of any kind she could ask for? Even though she’s a Junior, she kept her meal plan just for the cereal. Kat’s an RA though, so if anyone asks, she did it to hang out with her friend more. Maddy usually tags along too.

She’s halfway through her second bowl of cheerios today.

_Thats kind of a healthy choice, right?_

“So who was that girl you were talking to last night?” Kat comments, poking at her fruit bowl.

Rue stops chewing for a moment, “Lexi?”

“Sure, if that’s who you ditched us for,” Maddy adds.

Rue rolls her eyes, “Just a girl from some of my classes. I didn’t ditch you, I just didn’t think she should walk home alone.”

Kat and Maddy shoot each other knowing looks.

“What?” Rue snaps.

“So like, did you hook up or what?” Maddy asks.

“What? No!”

“So you aren’t into her?” Kat adds.

“I mean…” Rue makes a face, “But it wasn’t like that. We literally just met for the first time.”

“I thought you said she was from your classes,” Maddy squints.

“Okay, _maybe_ I realized I had seen her around but we never talked before,” Rue mumbles, “She was sober too, okay, we just bonded a little. That’s all.”

“Well, are you going to hang out again?” Kat asks.

“I, uh, don’t know,” Rue thinks for a moment, “I mean I don’t have her number or anything.”

“You didn’t get her number? Amateur,” Maddy mutters.

Kat chimes in, “What about looking her up on Facebook?”

“Ew, Facebook? What are you, 40?” Maddy replies. Kat scoffs.

“I don’t even know her last name,” Rue says, silently kicking herself for not being smart enough to ask, “I mean I know where she lives, but I’m not going to show up at her house.”

“Well, write her a letter or something then,” Kat says, “She seemed nice.”

Rue laughs, “Oh, did she? You got that from across the room?”

“I'm just saying, like, you should get back out there. It’s been awhile since you met anyone.”

Maddy nods in agreement.

Rue knows they’re right. It’s been over a year since Jules. Her friends just want her to be happy.

Rue shrugs, “Yeah, well, I don’t think it was like that. She’s probably straight anyways.”

“Please. Nobody is straight anymore,” Maddy offers.

Rue and Kat glance at each other before they all bust out laughing. Eventually, Maddy starts talking about her latest hook up and the banter returns to normal.

Rue decides she probably should find Lexi and ask her to hang out again. Like, even as a friend. She could use a sober friend.

***

The universe seems to agree with Rue.

She’s speed-walking through campus, about to make it to her 9 AM history class on time for once. It’s in a huge lecture hall, with probably 500 kids or so, which makes being late even more awkward. As she reaches the double doors and flings them open, she walks into a virtually empty space.

_What the hell?_

It’s dead silent, with no Professor or students in sight. She swears she didn’t get any notifications about class being moved or cancelled for the day. Rue’s about to leave when she spots a lone student sitting off to the side, laptop open. She squints.

_No way._

“Lexi?”

The girl turns around before a smile appears on her face, “Rue? What are you doing here?”

“I’m supposed to have class but…” Rue gestures to the open room.

“Yeah, me too. You’re in this class?”

Rue nods, too embarrassed to mention that she _may_ have noticed Lexi before.

“No way. Sorry, I don’t may much attention to who is around me in these,” Lexi continues.

“Don’t be. We probably never sat near each other,” Rue plays it off, “So did I miss an email or something?”

“That’s what I was trying to look up,” Lexi motions to her laptop, “But I don’t have any emails about it and I don’t see any announcements online.”

“Are we really the only two people who got left out?”

“I guess,” Lexi shrugs, before adding playfully, "The universe must be trying to tell us something.”

Rue swallows.

_Friends say that kind of stuff, right?_

Lexi closes her laptop and puts it back into her bag. Maybe Rue should just go with the Universe’s wishes.

“Um, are you hungry?” Rue asks.

***

“I’ll be honest, I thought you were going to have something a little more exciting in mind than swiping me into the dining hall,” Lexi teases.

“Hey, I had extra meals to kill. Plus, there’s a cereal bar,” Rue says like its the most obvious answer in the world, “But instead you pick…bacon and fruit?”

“It evens out,” Lexi shrugs.

Rue thinks its kind of crazy that she feels like she’s known the girl across from her for years when they don’t really know anything about each other.

“So, what’s your major?” Rue asks.

“Political Science.”

“Really?”

“I know,” Lexi rolls her eyes, “But I only picked it because I want to go to law school.”

“Shit. So you’re like super smart.”

“No,” a blush creeps across the girl’s cheeks, “I just like school. I don’t know. It seems like a good option.”

Rue tilts her head, “I’m just trying to imagine the girl who stands in the corner at parties showing up to court and going all _Law & Order _on some witness.”

“Hey, I can be tough,” Lexi frowns, trying to put on an angry face.

“No way, you’re too… cute.”

Lexi just smiles and shakes her head, “What about you?”

_Phew._

“Communications,” Rue shrugs, “I just want to graduate. I have no idea what I want to do yet. I guess I never really thought I would make it this far.”

She didn’t mean for the conversation to take such a serious turn, but there’s something about Lexi that seems to make her vomit the truth out in every interaction.

“Well,” the other girl breaks off another piece of bacon before looking back up, “I’m really glad you did.”

***

So Rue and Lexi start to hang out a lot. Lexi is probably the best study-buddy that Rue has ever met. They spend a lot of time in the library before and after class. It’s nice. Not only does Rue get a lot of work done, but they also talk about all kinds of random things.

Rue also drags Lexi out more, although they’ve been going to parties less. Instead, sometimes it’s a movie, or one of the Art school’s shows, or just dinner. They even went to a basketball game once. After all, there’s only so much one can do on a college campus that doesn’t involve getting wasted.

Lexi tells Rue about her childhood, always being in Cassie’s shadow, and always feeling like people took her for granted. Rue tells Lexi about her anxiety, her failed relationship with Jules, and her stints in rehab.

(All three of them.)  
  
They’re pretty close now. And yeah, maybe there is that lingering _thing_ that Rue has for the other girl. But more than anything, she just likes being able to talk to her. She’s cool with them being friends.

Except sometimes she can’t tell if Lexi is flirting with her or not. But. She’s probably not.

_Right?_

***

Rue’s sitting inside Maddy’s room with Kat, several episodes deep into Love Island, when the next party comes up.

“Valentine’s Day is this weekend, you know,” Kat mentions casually.

“Cool?” Rue replies.

“Are you going to finally ask Lexi out for real or what?”

Rue groans,“You never stop do you?”

“You obviously like her. I mean literally. She has to know,” Maddy adds.

“Look,” Rue sighs, “Things are really good and I like having her in my life. I don’t want to ruin anything or make it weird.”

“Well if you don’t make a move soon, she may think you aren’t interested and ditch you anyways,” Kat comments.

Rue flips her off, shaking her head.

“Okay, well if you aren’t going to ask her out, you should come with us to the stoplight party,” Maddy continues.

“Stoplight party?”

“Yeah. You dress according to your relationship status. Wear green if you’re single, yellow if it’s complicated, or red if you’re taken,” Maddy says knowingly, “It’s like, perfect for Valentine’s Day.”

Rue frowns, “That sounds awful. So what, everyone wearing green just has an orgy?”

“Are you saying you want to wear yellow?” Kat raises her eyebrows.

Rue launches a pillow across the room, “Fine, I’ll go. But I am not wearing any of those colors.”

Maddy starts going over everything green she owns, asking what outfit would be best. Rue takes the opportunity to pull her phone out.

_“Has Cassie mentioned a stoplight party to you?”_

Lexi: “ _Yes, unfortunately. Please tell me you’re going?_ ”

_“It appears so. What color are you wearing?”_

Lexi: “ _You’ll just have to wait to find out._ ”

***

By the time Rue, Kat and Maddy get to the party, Cassie and Lexi are already there. Rue spots Lexi in front of the house waiting for her. The shorter girl is wearing all black, which makes Rue’s smile even bigger.

Rue’s dressed head to toe in black too. Fuck party themes.

(Especially themes that make you question where you stand with someone.)

“I knew there was a reason I liked you,” Rue greets Lexi, gesturing to her outfit.

The other girl smiles and pulls her into a hug, “Great minds think alike.”

“For real though, you look good.”

“So do you, Bennett.”

Rue smiles, “Wanna go inside and talk shit on everyone else?”

Lexi nods.

Rue spots an empty chair in the living room and knows it’s a rare sight. She immediately sits on the recliner and pulls Lexi down with her. For the most part they both fit, but she’s starting to regret thinking that sitting so close to the other girl was a good idea.

Lexi turns towards Rue, “So, think Maddy and Cassie will fight over the same guy again?”

Rue puts her arm across the back of the chair, allowing her to meet the other girls gaze, “They would be best friends if they let that dude go. He’s not even cute.”

“Cassie’s too competitive,” Lexi laughs, “I don’t think she even likes him that much.”

Rue turns and looks out at the sea of people dressed in green, sloppily throwing themselves at each other.

“Why even have a stoplight thing? It’s the exact same people hitting on each other at every party anyways.”

“People just love themed parties, even if it makes zero sense,” the shorter girl adds.

Rue looks back over at Lexi and once again realizes their close proximity. She also notices something she missed earlier.

“Howard, are you wearing red earrings? You’ve been holding out on me,” Rue comments, quickly brushing her thumb over the other girl’s ear.

“Hey, I had to have a backup plan if you didn’t show up to save me,” Lexi looks down for a moment before meeting Rue’s gaze again, “Plus, I didn’t have any yellow ones.”

Rue usually brushes off stuff like this as her just reading into things, but in this moment she feels pretty strongly that Lexi is talking about them.

Rue doesn’t break her gaze this time. After awhile she can’t tell if she’s leaning in, or if Lexi is, but before she can figure it out, she see’s a flash of neon green in her peripheral vision.

She should have known things were going too well in her life.

“Rue Bennett!” a voice yells over the music.

_You’ve got to be fucking kidding me._

Rue’s head whips around.

“Jules?”

Rue hasn’t talked to Jules in over a year. The fact that she’s standing here, in this exact moment, is just insane. It has to be the worst timing in the history of the planet.

“Aren’t you going to give me a hug?” Jules says with so much confidence it makes Rue want to take the closest person’s drink and chug it.

Rue stands but makes no move to hug the girl in front of her. She senses Lexi moving to stand too.

“What are you doing here?” Rue asks.

“Visiting some friends, duh,” the other girl says. Her pupils are huge. Rue knows its more than alcohol, but it’s none of her business. Not anymore.

“Come and dance with me. For old times sake,” Jules moves to grab Rue’s hands.

“Uh, no thanks,” Rue mutters.

Jules’ gaze narrows, “You still hate me, huh?”

“I don’t hate you, Jules,” Rue says, and she means it, “I just… don’t see the point in us pretending to be friendly.”

Rue realizes that Jules is still holding her hands, so she quickly pulls them away.

“I wasn’t trying to upset you,” Jules replies, “ Just wanted to say hi.”

“I know. It’s fine,” Rue states firmly, “Kat and Maddy are around here somewhere, I’m sure they’d love to see you.”

Jules nods, taking the hint.

“I’ll go find them. Take care, Rue.”

Jules turns and walks away, leaving Rue to exhale a breath she didn’t even know she was holding. She turns around to apologize to Lexi, only to find that she’s gone.

_Fuck._

Rue shoves her way through countless bodies before she finally reaches the front door. Still no sign of Lexi. She heads outside, standing on the porch for a moment, trying to gain perspective as to who is walking on the street. It’s hard to tell.

_Shit. shit. shit._

Rue starts walking in the direction of Lexi’s house, attempting to call her at the same time.

“ _Hey, it’s Lexi. I’m not here right now, leave a messag-”_

Rue hangs up quickly.

_***_

Honestly? Rue did not expect to be standing outside of Lexi’s house on Valentine’s Day ready to confess her feelings, but here she is. Universe be damned.

She has to knock a few times before the door in front of her finally opens. Lexi’s already managed to change into an oversized t-shirt and remove her makeup. She looks like she may have been crying.

“Rue, just go home,” Lexi mumbles, “I’m fine.”

“You don’t really look fine.”

“What do you want from me?” Lexi snaps.

Rue flinches, she’s never seen the other girl actually mad, “I just wanna talk.”

Lexi scoffs, but leaves the door cracked open and walks further inside. Rue takes that as a signal to follow, shutting the door behind her.

“Look, I’m so sorry about Jules. That was like, the worst timing ever.”

“Did you know she was in town?” Lexi asks.

“No. Honestly, after she switched schools, I didn’t think I would ever see her again.”

Lexi looks like she’s debating whether or not to believe her, “I’m just stupid.”

“How?” Rue responds.

“The past few months I’ve been trying to convince myself that I’m not crazy and there is something going on between us,” Lexi starts, “And then Jules shows up and she’s so beautiful, and confident, and bold. She’s, like, the opposite of me.”

Rue can feel her own heart breaking, “That’s not true, Lex.”

“It is though,” Lexi shrugs, “I’m an idiot for thinking you would ever be into me.”

Rue inhales slowly, trying to get her thoughts in order. She decides that it can’t get much worse, so she may as well lay all of her cards on the table.

“Remember the first night we met? At that party?”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Lexi spits out.

Rue’s shaking a little but, “I knew who you were then. I mean, I didn’t know your name, but I knew your face.”

“How?” Lexi looks confused.

“We’ve had a few classes together over the years. I always noticed you. I thought you were really fucking cute.”

Lexi rolls her eyes, “Bullshit.”

Well, here it goes. Rue knows this could totally backfire, but, what other choice does she have?

“Freshman year it was _Social and Political Philosophy_ , then _Writing and Rhetoric_. Last year, it was _Statistical Reasoning_ with that crazy old lady professor, remember her?” Rue chuckles a bit, “And then _Non-Western History,_ you know, on Monday’s and Wednesday’s. Considering our majors are so different it’s actually a miracle we had those together.”

Lexi’s connecting the dots because she actually looks surprised, “You were in all of those?”

“Uh, yeah,” Rue’s shaking is getting worse, “I know it sounds really creepy. Um, which is why when we actually started talking, I didn’t want to be creepy. So I just kind of, held back.”

“Why didn’t you just talk to me sooner?”

“I didn’t know what to say. That’s why when I saw you standing in my corner at that party, it kinda felt like fate.”

Lexi looks less pissed off, but Rue still isn’t sure if she’s helped her case or hurt it.

“Do you miss her? Jules?”

“No,” Rue says without hesitation.

The shorter girl nods, “So, what now?”

Rue decides that she should probably just stop talking. She walks towards Lexi until they are face to face.

“Now, I really want to kiss you,” Rue whispers.

Lexi wraps her hand around the back of Rue’s neck and beats her to it.

It takes them a minute to find their groove, but once they do, Rue swears they were made for each other.

She does everything in her power to keep her brain from short circuiting when Lexi leads her upstairs.

***

Rue wakes up early the next morning after hearing light shuffling around her. It takes her a moment to remember she’s in Lexi’s bed, sans most of her clothes.

_At least that wasn’t a dream._

She rolls over and see’s that Lexi is getting dressed, clearly trying to be quiet, on the other side of the room. Rue’s heart drops for a minute.

“Are you really trying to sneak out of your own house?” she croaks out.

“Hey,” Lexi turns around with a smile, “Of course not. I didn’t mean to wake you. Cassie needs me to pick her up. Somehow she ended up like, five miles off of campus.”

The relief must be obvious on Rue’s face.

“I wouldn’t do that to you,” Lexi adds, sitting down on the bed for a minute, brushing hair out of Rue’s face.

“So, uh, you’re okay with what happened last night?” Rue questions.

Lexi blushes slightly, “More than okay. Are you?”

“Um yeah, definitely.”

“Good,” Lexi replies before pressing a quick kiss to Rue’s forehead, “I’ll be back, okay? Try to go back to sleep.”

Surprisingly enough, Rue actually does.

***

Second semester is slowly coming to an end, meaning summer has arrived. Rue’s already taken most of her exams, just one more and she will officially only have a year left of school. It’s kind of crazy. At least she still has time to figure out what she wants to do when it’s over.

She also can’t remember the last time she was this happy. Lexi’s good for her. She keeps her grounded.

Rue’s at the library pretending to look at her notes while Lexi is across from her, studying diligently for her remaining exams. She’s always admired the other girl’s work ethic.

“So, I’ve been thinking,” Rue starts, twirling her pencil.

“Yes?” Lexi mumbles, only glancing up for a moment.

“Uh, technically my lease doesn’t end until next semester. I was thinking, after I go see my mom and Gia for a week or two, I might just… come back for the summer.”

So, Lexi is doing summer school. And Rue loves her family, but going the entire summer without seeing Lexi seems like a certain form of torture. Plus, the lease part is true. Why pay for a place and not live there? Even Kat and Maddy are moving into a new house and their lease starts next week. So all signs point to Rue staying for the summer anyways.

Lexi stops what she’s doing suddenly, “Really? You don’t have to do that.”

“I know I don’t. But why would I not see you for three months if it didn’t have to be that way?”

“Maybe you need a break?” Lexi says with a smirk.

Rue scoffs, “Please. We aren’t that needy couple. We have our own friends. We still do our own thing.”

“True, but you never know,” Lexi trails off, “I’m just saying. Whatever you want to do, I’m okay with it.”

Rue swears she could come up with the most insane plan and Lexi would still be supportive. Even if it was hard for her. That’s why she loves her. And she’s been meaning to tell her that for awhile.

“I’m gonna come back then,” Rue says, “I, um, I love you too much to be away from you that long.”

_Well, now it’s out there._

“Rue…” Lexi looks at her, almost in awe, “You really had to drop that while we’re at the _library_?”

Rue just shrugs, “Couldn’t hold it in anymore.”

Lexi looks at her, unable to shake the smile on her face, “Well, lucky for you, I love you too.”

Rue knows its going to be a good summer.

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea where this came from. College prompts are fun though.
> 
> Also, I swear I don't hate Jules but it's not like Rue has a lot of options for an ex, okay?
> 
> ne0nbible.tumblr.com if you have notes or want to say hello.


End file.
